This is what I found in the Bahai Faith and what I never found in the 25 years I was an active member of the mormon church!
It took me sometime to find a video that describes most correctly the way my wife and I felt when we were leaving the mormon church. What this couple went through is so much alike with our experience! I dedicate this video to all those who want to leave and yet are afraid of taking that step. Don’t be afrais because you are not alone and there are many of us here willing to help you.
Source: Pride in Utah
North Carolina: 40 year old Bryan Michael Egnew spent the last decades of his life building up the courage to come out to his family and Mormon church. Once he did his life, family and religion were stripped away from him, and he committed suicide within a matter of weeks. Read further here.
“When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies – to be met not with cooperation but with conquest, to be subjugated and mastered.” RFK
Marriage came due to religion. The willing to close an aliance with the partner and God in order to be recognize on Earth and in Heaven. People were afraid of what would God say if people just went live together or just would have a ‘pic-nic’ here and there. With time women became a piece of merchandise and were used to trade with social status, goods and money. Women had no word to say about their marriage and so we saw that many women were and still are cohersed into not wanted marriages and into families that sometimes don’t have the slightest respect for them.
As a westerner, I consider women equal to men and with the same rights and obligations and therefore I strongly defend the presence of women in all levels of society. Since the marriage institution comes from religion and social pressure from in the past it’s time that society also evolves with time and adapts an approach to relations between partners.
When I was a Mormon I strongly defended the most conservative principles of the sacredness of family and marriage. Two and a half years went by and today I see things differently. I see the union of partners as something between themselves and please let them chose what kind of relationship they want and with whom they want. Of course society needs to protect itself from adults getting together with children among other possible unions.
Today I would not marry again but I would take my partner, soulmate, love to a beautiful place of our choice and just the two of us I would declare my love for her and make vows valid for us and to be cherished by us. To safeguard the future in case of death or end of the relationship a single document would be signed in front of a Government official and that was it. No need for marriage and no need to expensive, long and many times violent divorce procedures.
I see no problem in the so called not usual relationships like people having more than one partner. If that is their choice society needs to be prepared to accept that kind of union as well. We need to admire this kind of relationships because they need to be very strong to be able to succeed. Love and attention must be given to both partners in order that one of them doesn’t feel left our in the relationship. In Belgium I have seen several examples on televisions of polygamous families that function in perfect harmony.
Until a while ago I was very conservative on this kind of families but since I saw a polygamous family where the women were taking care of each other’s children with so much love and respect my opinion started to change. If these people get along together why not allowing them to be happy as they are? Isn’t it better than a traditional couple in which one of the partners is abusive towards the other?
Maybe all this is too progressive but it’s how I feel.
For quite some time I am thinking what more can I say to add to all I have written here and for the moment I don’t see what I can add to my personal experiences in the mormon church. Time is taking me to the point that I realize that the mormon fase is over and that I am moving on with my life. It was a great therapy to be able to write everything down and to share it with the people who were willing to read and to be a listening ear to me. Looking behind, the mormon church was a period in my life that gave me the possibility to meet my wife, to give us a foundation to our marriage and also to meet a kind of persons I don’t want to be around with and to see the kind of person I don’t want to become.
The following women refused Joseph Smith’s proposals, and this is only a list of those we have confirmed- there is likely many more we do not have records of:
- Rachel Ivins Grant
- Esther Johnson
- Eliza Winters
- Emeline White
- Pamela Michael
- Athalia Rigdon
- Lovina Smith
- Caroline Grant Smith
- Cordelia C Morley Cox
- Leonora Cannon Taylor
- Melissa Schindle
- Mrs. Robert Foster
- Lucy Smith Milligan
- Miss Marks
(This list was found in Jim Whitefields book “The Mormon Delusion Vol. 1”)
I would like to take a minute and congratulate these forgotten women for refusing Joseph’s immoral advances (several of whom were already married).
Most members have accepted polygamy as something in the past that must have been approved by God when it was practiced. However, I’m not sure how many Mormons realize how many women Joseph Smith married and at what frequency.
On October 25th 1841 Joseph Smith told a 19 year-old married woman that she must marry him or an angel with a sword will slay him. From this point until November 2nd 1843, when he married Fanny Young Murray, he married a total of 29 women.
If we average out these 29 women over this time period we will find that Joseph Smith approached a new woman about every 25 days.
He did so all in the name of God, in secrecy (even from Emma) and using his position of authority.
I would submit that if missionaries shared this information with every investigator, baptisms would plummet and church growth would begin to decline, as we have already seen in developed countries where access to this information is easily found. Historical fact is purposefully kept from the membership, and this is only the tip of the iceberg.
Here is a nice visual timeline for anyone who is interested: