Choices and quotes

One of the great mistakes in quotes is that we build our own future and that we are the result of our choices. Is it so? In many cases yes but in others I don’t think so. Imagine that you fall in love with person A and that that person doesn’t love you or already has someone else. You can’t choose who you fall in love with or that you will not be in love with that person anymore. Through my entire life I met people telling me “I married my partner but he/she is not the love of my life. When I see my love I feel an electricity shock going all over me.”

For me the best example is that when I was young I wanted to be a jetliner pilot. I wanted to transport people across the World, I wanted to fly and to be free. With time I had to realize that sciences and myself just don’t go along and that my talents are in speaking foreign languages. I could choose to keep on trying and trying or to divert my efforts into another direction. I did that but flying is still my dream. It’s a dream that will never come true.

A few years ago I was able to fly a Cessna just for a few seconds and I will never forget the great sensation I felt. I had to accept the fact that I will never fly people to other countries but the taste got me, even if for just a few seconds.

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Se tu precisas de insistir muito com alguém, é porque essa pessoa não precisa de ti

Eu não vou insistir para tu gostares de mim. Talvez isso soe como uma ameaça, mas não é. É mais como uma bandeira branca. Cansei-me de relacionamentos competitivos, de jogos de interesse, do orgulho ferido. Não concordo que demonstrar o que se sente é sinal de fraqueza. Se eu não despertar em ti o “gostar” naturalmente, então, talvez um de nós não mereça o outro assim tanto.

É claro que já estive do outro lado, o da insistência. Moldava-me aos gostos do outro, adaptava-me à rotina, aos amigos, e até reprimia alguns palavrões na sua frente. Eu achava que isso era fazer tudo certinho, mas na verdade, aos poucos deixava de ser eu para me disfarçar de pessoa perfeita. Acontece que perfeição é utopia, o que define cada um de nós e o que compõe uma relação é o equilíbrio dos defeitos, e não fingir que eles não existem. Como ser humano que sou, eu erro, talvez me arrependa e talvez não. Mas, sobretudo, aprendi a perdoar erros, então tudo bem se formos fracassar, dentro de mim transborda esperança para um recomeço.

Eu prezo pela autenticidade. Se tu tiveres vontade de me ligar de madrugada, liga. Se te sentires inseguro, conversa comigo. Não te contenhas perto de mim, não te esforces para engolir os teus sentimentos. Ninguém está a contabilizar os pontos, a verdade é essa. Tu não cas por cima quando implicas comigo, não me iludes quando me elogias, não me fazes sentir mal se não me ligas no dia seguinte. Eu não preciso da tua aprovação para me sentir bem comigo.

Eu não vou insistir para tu gostares de mim. Tu precisas aceitar que nem tudo poderá ser mudado. Precisas aceitar-me como sou, se me quiseres. Essa pessoa prontinha, feita de propósito para ti, não existe. Por isso, ca ao lado de alguém que desperte o melhor em ti e uma verdadeira transformação vai acontecer. Isso se chama afnidade. No m das contas, cada um sabe dentro de si até que ponto está disposto a ser o grande amor da vida de alguém.

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Fonte: Blog Já Foi

How we felt when we left the mormon cult

It took me sometime to find a video that describes most correctly the way my wife and I felt when we were leaving the mormon church. What this couple went through is so much alike with our experience! I dedicate this video to all those who want to leave and yet are afraid of taking that step. Don’t be afrais because you are not alone and there are many of us here willing to help you.

Marriage and Relationships

Marriage came due to religion. The willing to close an aliance with the partner and God in order to be recognize on Earth and in Heaven. People were afraid of what would God say if people just went live together or just would have a ‘pic-nic’ here and there. With time women became a piece of merchandise and were used to trade with social status, goods and money. Women had no word to say about their marriage and so we saw that many women were and still are cohersed into not wanted marriages and into families that sometimes don’t have the slightest respect for them.

As a westerner, I consider women equal to men and with the same rights and obligations and therefore I strongly defend the presence of women in all levels of society. Since the marriage institution comes from religion and social pressure from in the past it’s time that society also evolves with time and adapts an approach to relations between partners.

When I was a Mormon I strongly defended the most conservative principles of the sacredness of family and marriage. Two and a half years went by and today I see things differently. I see the union of partners as something between themselves and please let them chose what kind of relationship they want and with whom they want. Of course society needs to protect itself from adults getting together with children among other possible unions.

Today I would not marry again but I would take my partner, soulmate, love to a beautiful place of our choice and just the two of us I would declare my love for her and make vows valid for us and to be cherished by us. To safeguard the future in case of death or end of the relationship a single document would be signed in front of a Government official and that was it. No need for marriage and no need to expensive, long and many times violent divorce procedures.

I see no problem in the so called not usual relationships like people having more than one partner. If that is their choice society needs to be prepared to accept that kind of union as well. We need to admire this kind of relationships because they need to be very strong to be able to succeed. Love and attention must be given to both partners in order that one of them doesn’t feel left our in the relationship. In Belgium I have seen several examples on televisions of polygamous families that function in perfect harmony.

Until a while ago I was very conservative on this kind of families but since I saw a polygamous family where the women were taking care of each other’s children with so much love and respect my opinion started to change. If these people get along together why not allowing them to be happy as they are? Isn’t it better than a traditional couple in which one of the partners is abusive towards the other?

Maybe all this is too progressive but it’s how I feel.